TGIF and all that jazz...

What a whirlwind week...ok let me breathe a bit...good-night-a-livin'...I'm just not used to suddenly being so busy like this. I mean, only a couple weeks ago I was bored to death unemployed, remember? Suddenly since going to camp, I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut-off running errands, packing, unpacking, loading and unloading the car, AND starting a new job AND embarking on a long-distance romance (yeah, just in time for $4.00 gas prices, to travel all the time, huh? I've always had such GREAT timing).

Not to mention I've also been super tired all week, talking to Pete on the phone until all hours of the night, so I'm exhausted really, but otherwise happy. It's just all so new and will take some getting used to, all this busy-ness. I know once I get into a routine with the new job and with the traveling thing, things will feel less chaotic and overwhelming to me. Until then, maybe I need some valium.

Yesterday I was starting to write about this cookout idea that both Pete and Peter have come up with, much to my surprise. I didn't have time to finish the post because my boss talked my EAR OFF the last 15 minutes I was here at work. Gotta love a slow-talker. I sit there and hold my tongue when I know exactly how to finish his long drawn-out sentences 30 seconds before he says it. That's gonna drive me bonkers.

Well, here's the thing: Both Pete and his friend "Vixen" are coming down to my neck of the woods at the end of July. We've made plans to go to the dungeon together and have dinner together---WITH PETER---who has agreed to come along to dinner. He can't go to the dungeon though. So then the idea came, rather than take a chance on waiting in a long line at a restaurant, why not just have a cookout at my place?! So then Pete says, "Oh good, we can eat food, AND play naked Twister too!" Then Peter says to me later, "I think he wants to get naked and play moreso than eat..." and we talked about it, what if we all four decided to have a NAKED cookout...but ohmygod, the neighbors...so maybe we could be fully clothed on the deck, but then go inside to my living space and THEN eat our food naked...holy crap I don't know...Peter said, "I don't typically GET naked around total strangers the first time I meet them, but what the hell, I'm game if they are." But then I'm thinking, "OH MY GAWD, I've never had FOUR NAKED PEOPLE in my house at the same time---however, now that I think about it, that's not true. We used to have a dungeon space and parties every month, so actually we had 15-20 people attending each time. Hmmm.

But those weren't people that I am intimately involved with, all at the same time. So it's quite different when you put it into the proper perspective. Smearing homemade potato salad on naked men!! HMMM. no plates or forks necessary. hehehehehe But now I've got to plan all this, and get the place ready for it. When the hell am I gonna have TIME to do that, if I'm trapseing off to the 'burgh every weekend?! I say we order pizza and call it good. But hey what do I know, I'm just the subbie who aims to please. They want a cookout? I'll give 'em a cookout. Ehhhh, what-evah.

It's just the thought of having BOTH Pete's and Vixen in the same room together that blows me away. Pete says he will really like Peter, because he knows that Peter is looking out for me in my best interest, and he respects that a lot. I really truly hope there is no EGOMANIA or RIVALRY gonna happen though, cuz I'd have to kick them both the curb if that happened. Play nice, boys, or go play with somebody else.

So Pete has once again blown my friggin' mind...the man seems to thrive on doing that. Of course, PETER has also been blowing my mind just as much, too. The two of these guys, I SWEAR, are CLONES of each other. I think I've really hit the lottery. That is, the similarities and differences compliment each other VERY well, and I kinda like having two Dom's so far...

Here are similiarities I have noticed so far:

Both guys' favorite color is blue.
Both are libertarian.
Both work at computer companies.
Both make 6 figures.
Both are very creative, logical, organized, and firm.
Both have been or are married, and have kids.
Both are Dom's with experience.
Both spoil me rotten and make me feel loved.

Differences:

Sex styles; Peter is more...let's say...rough with me. He likes to spend 30-45 minutes or sometimes even an hour just spanking me. Or he will choke me slightly while he attacks my nipples either with his hands or mouth. Pete so far, is more tender. Foreplay with Pete includes lots more kissing all over, and less focus on just the nipples. Peter never has much time so we don't spend a lot on that at all.

Timeframes; Peter is available for 2 hour blocks at most. Pete, all weekend. Quality time with Peter is very intense though, I'm always left completely exhausted in a ragdoll heap...so I have no complaints really. Just wish it could last longer.

Willies; HA!! You really thought I wouldn't go there? SUCKAAA!! Oh yes I am.

Peter's willy is a very nice size, gorgeous, constantly hard as a brick, (which is good of course, but not as flexible to play with) and extremely tasty. He won't shave his pubes though and he's not as sensitive, I can even bite him there (nibble) sometimes and he doesn't wince. He's very focused on his willy when I'm playing with it, but he can also be analytical and detached about it. Maybe preoccupied. When he cums, it's like a wild huge earthquake where he jolts around like he's being electrocuted. I like being jostled around! hehehe

Pete's willy is not covered so much in pubes, he might even shave down there I think... He's a bit smaller in size, less hard as a brick, but that means it's more flexible to play with and massage! It's equally as tasty, though and grows happily when I'm giving a BJ...and it's very responsive to the point of super-sensitive---so no nibbling! When he cums, it's less earthquake-like, but very intense just the same. Knowing his whole body is into it, with little or no detachment and analytical discussion about what I'm doing, really turns me on huge...he just lets me go wild.

I love the differences in men's willies!! THEY ARE ALL SO FUN TO PLAY WITH...

Let's see...Pete says he wants to buy himself a house in about two years. In six months, he wants me to move to Pittsburgh and get a place of my own. I have no idea how the hell I'm gonna do that. I just started this new job this week, and I'm stuck living where I'm at until David comes back from the Phillippines with his new wife. Pete says in a year or less from now, perhaps we will even share a place. He's got this like, huge agenda of future plans with me, which freaks me the fuck out to be honest, but wow, I have never known a man like him before.

I can't even see beyond the weekend right now, much less try to plan that far in advance for something...my life has always been so "in-flux" and "in transition" for so long, I have a difficult time planning and sticking to a plan whenever I try. I mean I just get settled somewhere and in a few months I have to move, or I change jobs, or something happens and I can't keep the plan going.

I told Peter all this yesterday and he says, "Roll with it, just go have fun living life, go wherever it takes you and don't think it to death." I just glared at him like, "Wow, do you even KNOW me at all after two years?! How the hell can I NOT "think it to death?" when I'm freaked out by all of this happening so fast? I don't know if I can trust it, I mean all my life every man I have known has promised me the friggin' MOON...but I have yet to see a BEAM.

So I just nod and smile whenever Pete comes up with this stuff, I know he means well, but I don't believe it. I'm skeptical, and if I fall for it and trust it right off the bat, I would only be very hurt later when it didn't actually happen. I mean he could go POOF at any moment, too. Just like Peter. He needs to understand that I've never had a relationship like this before. I've never known a man who WANTED a long term thing, who WANTED to take care of me, who WANTED to provide for me like that...not to mention I usually take my time getting to know people, so I don't trust anybody especially this soon after meeting them. Moving so quickly from a massage table at camp to his bed the next weekend really blew my OWN mind, though it felt comfortable and "right" so I went along with it.

Pete's a dreamer, an impulsive, creative, fun-loving, easy-going and happy-go-lucky kinda guy. Peter, on the other hand, is more serious, stoic, firm, calculating and determined kinda guy. He's got some creativity, and can be easy-going too, and we do laugh a lot...but overall, that is his style. That's why I feel like I've won the lottery, I've kinda stumbled onto the best of both worlds with these two Dom's.

So I guess for now I will just keep nodding and smiling at the impulsiveness of Pete's infatuation, but will reserve myself a bit on getting caught up in it...and just live in the "NOW." If I had wanted a sugar-daddy, I would have created a profile on www.sugardaddies.com. If had wanted to "double my income with an MRS degree," I would have gotten married in my 20's. If I were an OPPORTUNIST, I would jump at the chance at moving to Pittsburgh and shacking up with him, just to get the hell out of DC once and for all.

But the lyrics of one of my favorite songs "I am the Highway" by Audioslave, reminds me that NOBODY can be everything to you, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how long you know them, and only YOU, yourself, can be everything to yourself FIRST before taking on someone else.

"Pearls and swine, bereft, of me...long and weary, my road has been.
I was lost in the cities, alone in the hills, no sorry or pity, but leaving I feel...
I am not your rolling wheels,
I am the highway...
I am not your carpet ride, I am the skyyyyy
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightening,
I am not your autumn moon, I am the niiiiggghhhtt..."

"Friends and liars, don't wait for me. I'll get on, all by myself.
I put millions of miles, under my heels. But still too close, to you, I feel...
I am not your rolling wheels...
I am the highway...
I am not your carpet ride, I am the skyyyyy
I am not your blowing wind...
I am the LIGHTENING!!
I am not your autumn moon, I am the niiiiiggghhhhhttt."

So there ya go. Pete is not my carpet ride. Peter is not my rolling wheel...

But I just so happen to be, the lightening to them both. And I will strike them with as much happiness as I possibly can, for as long as I possibly can. I love them both.

Love, Sassy Girl