A conspiracy of biker men...

In response to my previous post, I chatted with Pete and Peter this morning. I am now convinced that it is a conspiracy, from one Harley rider to another, not just a Honda...I was mistaken...Pete just hasn't started the ignition to his Harley yet...

10:41] PETE: Still reading.
[10:42] ME: k
[10:42] ME: yeah it's rather longwinded today.
[10:46] PETE: You summed it up perfectly girl.
[10:47] PETE: You need to be a little less self destructive and if you let me I will guide you there.
[10:47] PETE: See I do know what you need.
[10:47] PETE: And the other will not be left behind.
[10:47] PETE: I am ready for you.
[10:48] PETE: I have been getting ready for you much of my life.
[10:48] PETE: I will take you places you have never been.
[10:48] ME: ...i am sorry for being retarded.
[10:48] PETE: And I will be your safe place to always come back to.
[10:48] PETE: You are afraid.
[10:49] PETE: This is a big step.
[10:49] PETE: I understand.
[10:49] ME: ok
[10:49] ME: i guess i need saving from myself sometimes.
[10:49] PETE: I just think you have the metaphor reversed.
[10:49] PETE: You have been playing it safe so far,
[10:50] PETE: Just sampling life in littel bits.
[10:50] PETE: Then back to your cave.
[10:50] PETE: I am asking you to live life full time.
[10:50] ME: oh god
[10:50] PETE: With much smaller visits to the cave.
[10:50] PETE: This is what you see, but have no words for.
[10:50] PETE: And what you fear.
[10:50] PETE: It is much bigger.
[10:51] PETE: But I will always be here for you.
[10:52] PETE: Peter's analogy has been open doors and windows.
[10:52] PETE: It is the same.
[10:52] PETE: There is so much more in life to live and experience.
[10:52] PETE: We will take baby steps in that.
[10:52] ME: so you don't think my wanting [deleted] and asking something that is upsetting and hurtful, and damned near impossible, isn't crazy???
[10:53] PETE: You did not hurt me.
[10:53] PETE: Did you think you would>
[10:53] PETE: ?
[10:53] ME: yes i was upset hating myself all day
[10:53] PETE: You projected that on me, but I was not hurt.
[10:53] PETE: And I tried to tell you that there was no need to beat yourself up.
[10:53] ME: ok
[10:54] ME: i'm a hateful hag sometimes.
[10:54] PETE: You are frightened.
[10:54] PETE: And that is natural.
[10:55] PETE: And just for the record.
[10:55] PETE: While it is true that you did give me one BJ here before I really fell in love with you.
[10:55] PETE: That was not the reason.
[10:56] PETE: 20 hours on the phone in a week was the reason.
[10:56] PETE: Your thoughts, brain and way of thinking was the reason.
[10:57] PETE: Sure the sex had to be good.
[10:57] PETE: But you do not base a life together on the frosting.
[10:57] ME: i know.
[10:57] PETE: And so I have not.
[10:58] PETE: You had to engage my mind to get me.
[10:58] PETE: You have, in a big big way.
[10:58] PETE: I love you.
[10:58] PETE: More every day.
[10:58] ME: i am imperfect
[10:58] ME: i am insane
[10:58] ME: i am addicted
[10:58] PETE: So am I
[10:58] ME: i am weird
[10:58] PETE: This is a news flash?
[10:59] PETE: Two imperfect people come together.
[10:59] PETE: It's the rocks in the river that make it sing.
[11:00] PETE: If I wanted sane, normal, vanilla, I would never have met you.
[11:00] ME: LOL
[11:00] ME: that's all you've been with though
[11:00] ME: sane, normal, vanilla
[11:01] ME: i am none of those things
[11:01] PETE: Z---- [2nd ex-wife] was sane?
[11:01] ME: i don't know...
[11:01] PETE: You want to talk crazy....
[11:01] PETE: The probem was she didn't know it.
[11:01] PETE: Still doesn't.
[11:01] PETE: We know we are crazy.
[11:01] PETE: We embrace it.
[11:02] PETE: We use it.
[11:02] ME: this is what peter just said to me

[11:02] PETER: but i will kick your ass out of here in a little while to start on your Big Adventure. for as scary and terrifiying as it is, you can handle it. not only handle it, but soar and sing and grow. and.... "kicking your ass out of here" is not the same as "kicking you to the curb" and dumping you. not at all. it's doing whats best for you and being strong enough, Dom enough to make it stick

[11:02] PETE: Right.
[11:02] PETE: You are ready for me.
[11:03] PETE: If I just came on hard and wailed on your ass from the beginning I would have been just like everyone else.
[11:03] PETE: But I am not like everyone else.
[11:03] ME: god
[11:04] PETE: You know now just how deeply I love and care for you.
[11:04] PETE: We have a foundation to go deeper now.
[11:05] PETE: Run to me today.
[11:05] PETE: I will take you on a ride you will not soon forget.
[11:06] PETE: Be prepared to be inspected also.
[11:06] ME: ....i feel a sudden calm.
[11:06] ME: but this is weird. You and Peter have been echoing each other:
[11:06] ME: you [PETE] say
[11:05] ME: It's the rocks in the river that make it sing.
[11:05] ME: Peter says

[11:05] PETER: Dom says "making you soar and sing and grow" and you're supposed to smile, yes

[11:05] ME: You [Pete] says
[11:05] PETE: We have a foundation to go deeper now.
[11:05] ME: [Peter] says

[11:05] PETER: they are the foundation.
[11:06] PETER: DAMNIT!!!!
[11:06] PETER: you weren't supposed to discover we're the same person
[11:06] PETER: crap
[11:06] ME: LOL

[11:07] ME: you guys are both scaring the hell outta me
[11:07] PETE: We are in tune girl.
[11:07] ME: i know.
[11:08] PETE: You are good now.
[11:08] ME: inspected...
[11:09] PETE: Have a nice afternoon and I will see you soon.
[11:09] ME: i am shaved
[11:09] ME: i am clean
[11:09] ME: i am ready
[11:09] ME: i just said this to peter
[11:09] ME: Pete says i am ready for him
[11:08] ME: I DON'T FEEL READY FOR ANY OF THIS

[11:08] PETER: it is both completely up to you... and to be taken out of your hands. all at the same time
[11:09] PETER: you are ready...
[11:09] PETER: and pete and i will do what has to be done for you and with you, to make it happen

.....................so I've apparently been given the keys to what I thought was a Honda, but apparently is actually just a brand new Harley, today. And I've also been given a helmet too, from both Peter and Pete.

I don't feel ready, but they both say I am ready to roll.

I feel a sudden calm.

Ride to live, live to ride. VVVVRRROOOOOMMMMMM!!!

And now after work today, I am off to go see a house to share with Pete, and to meet his mother.

I hope I don't get any bugs in my teeth.

Love, Sassy Girl