Taking a look around...

Returning to DC after a weekend in Pittsburgh with Pete is a bittersweet experience. Each time I do this, I see new and different things here, that I hadn't really paid much attention to before.

Things like, "wow I have a lot of stuff." Now, I already KNEW that of course, but it's one thing to say, "I live with this stuff every day and barely take notice of it anymore," to then saying, "My GOD how am I ever going to pack all this crap?!" So I guess you could say my perspective is shifting to "move mode," little by little.

I've noticed other things too, like, "wow, the backyard I'm taking Sassy to in the 'burgh is MUCH smaller than the one I've got now..." and "there's no wooded area with a trail to walk my dog on away from the street and cars, it's so dangerous there for her..." and, "there's no dishwasher there, GOD I'm gonna miss that so much," and "there's no AIR CONDITIONING in this new place either, GOOD LORD I'm gonna MELT..." and "I will miss my local thrift stores with a passion," not to mention all of the DC sites and day trips around the DC/MD/VA area...and of course the overall, "I will really miss this stupid dysfunctional place, even though it's been such a drag for so long."

Don't get me wrong, I do look forward to this new adventure, but at the same time, I did have a few moments yesterday of "OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING? THIS IS CRAZY! I CAN'T MOVE TO PITTSBURGH! IT IS TOO RISKY! I HAVE A SURE THING HERE IN DC, A NICE PLACE TO LIVE UNTIL 2010, A DECENT JOB THAT I LIKE, PETER, ETC., BUT I'M TRADING ALL THAT SURE THING STUFF IN, FOR THE UNKNOWN WHAT-IF'S OF WHAT'S HIDDEN BEHIND MONTY HALL'S "Let's Make a Deal" CURTAIN NUMBER TWO?! AM I NUTS?!"

I guess that's to be expected. I'm sure I'll have these feelings a lot until I'm actually THERE permanently. And who knows, I might also have those same feelings AFTER I get there, sitting in an empty room, surrounded my all my stuff in boxes, overwhelmed and exhausted.

Peter says he's already prepared for my phone call, "It's all YOUR fault! How could you let me DO THIS?! AAUUGGHH!!" accompanied with a hysterical crying meltdown. Hehehehehehe, and yes, he's probably right about that, I might just spazz like a fool for awhile. Glad he knows me so well. Glad he'll still be available via phone, email and IM too. I will need that from him. He told me he is going to miss me terribly, but he's happy that I'm going to be starting a new life with Pete, because he's a great guy, and will do what's best for me, and he trusts that.

I looked at the calendar today. There are only 6 weeks left of my life in DC. I feel like a doctor just told me I have 6 weeks to live. AAAUUGGHHH!!!

(Panic-mode is starting to rear its ugly head a little bit).

I'm feeling glad that I have a good group of people around me who are supportive and encouraging about it, though. I am lucky for that. And Pete is elated, he's been like a kid in a candy store who is finally given the biggest lollipop EVER.

So I'm looking around at all my stuff, I'm thinking things like, "yes, the front foyer will look nice with all this furniture added to it, and the wall decorations too, yes, a beach theme will look great in there I think, as you enter the house." I look at my stuff and think, "I hope this item will fit in that space..." and "I hope I can bring this with me, though I'm not sure where to put it yet..." whereas, before all this stuff happened with Pete, I didn't really think about moving my furniture around at all, or getting rid of anything, it was all just THERE, not really being noticed or anything. Now I'm seeing it all through the eyes of the new apartment in Pittsburgh and where it all might go, and how to arrange it, etc.

Once the nesting phase ends, though, when all the walls are painted, all the furniture is placed, everything is unpacked and looking nice....then what? That is the curtain #2 I'm talking about. Then what.

Ok, so then I'm hopefully working at a new job. Good. Then what?

Ok, so then maybe I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner for Pete and his kids. Then what?

Ok, so then I'm Christmas shopping. Then what?

Ok, so then I'm planning New Years Eve with Pete...and then it'll be 2009. We'll have Obama as our new president, the country will get back to normal, and we'll all live happily ever after...right??

Then what. It's the "then-what's" that got me scared. But okay, here I go...I'm leaving DC in 6 weeks. (insert hyperventilation mode here).

Dear Steve Perry, if you're reading this, you've only got 6 weeks to come rescue me and steal me away from Pete and Peter! So I'll expect you and your limo to drive up to my doorstep soon. I'll be packed and ready. I'll only need a new Social Security number, a disguise, and a fake passport. See you soon. *wink*

Love, Sassy Girl