Rammstein ROCKS

Ok, so my friend Vixen introduced me to a German heavy metal band called RAMMSTEIN, but I have only heard a couple songs. I can't understand the language, but the music is pretty kick-ass cool. So when I perused a used DVD & CD store earlier this evening and found RAMMSTEIN IN CONCERT IN BERLIN on DVD, I snatched it up for her.

Well, Pete decided to pop it in the DVD player tonight, just to make sure it wasn't damaged or anything. We ended up watching the whole thing, it was AWESOME...so, they are now one of my new favorite bands. I mean they set the lead singer on FIRE man!! And then the keyboard guy got into a rubber inflated raft, and SAILED ON TOP OF THE FANS, all through the crowd!! AMAZING!! They had pyrotechnics like you wouldn't believe---at one point, the lead singer guy had fireworks coming out of the heels of his shoes, as he did FLIPS ON STAGE....friggin' COOL AS HELL....

Ahem. At first my thought was, "Damned buncha Nazis..." but then I thought, "Hmmm, if Hitler were there, he would OUTLAW that kind of music, and those Germans seem to LOVE IT, so maybe they're not Nazis after all. I do try to keep an open mind, but studying the Holocaust all my life kinda skews my perceptions sometimes, what can I say? Pete bought me the coolest book EVER at a used book store----an AUTOGRAPHED COPY of the biography of Jan Karski.....I nearly fell over!! I was there at the Museum when he came to the book signing, so I got to see him up close and personal as he was being honored, but I never got one of his books at that time....now I've got one. I can't even express how thrilled to the bone that book has made me feel!
I'm thinking the book made ME giddy with happiness, just as much as this DVD will make Vixen go wild. So anyway, that DVD is just a little Christmas gift for Vixen, and I think she'll probably go ape-shit.

This weekend we're going to Pete's current play (he's in A Christmas Carol), and then we're going to the dungeon afterwards for the Christmas party. The next morning, we're going to get Sassy some updated doggy shots, and then we're getting things ready for the trip to Michigan for the holidays. They've got a buttload of snow up there, 14 inches fell in ONE DAY...I'm not looking forward to THAT crap, but ok, we'll give it a go. Maybe I'll take the kids sledding, that is always fun even for me.

I started a new temp job today....it's monkey work that any idiot could do, but ok fine, whatever, it's money in the gas tank.

I just miss having a passion to look forward to every day in the workplace, ya know? I was lucky to have it for awhile, but it's been 7 years since I lost it and I miss it more and more as time goes on. It gnaws at me and aches sometimes, especially when I dream about the Museum and being there, and roaming the hallways and seeing those people I loved working with...dreams like that often wake me up in the middle of the night, and then I lay there awake for an hour or more, unable to go back to sleep. It haunts me. I still have dreams about the Twin Towers falling down too.

And it was 3 years ago this past November, that my friend Thom committed suicide and left me the note on my computer screen instant messenger...if I hadn't called the police to go check on him, they might not have found him for weeks. It only took them a few hours luckily, but he had downed 3 bottles of sleeping pills, and asphyxiated himself in his truck. The truck was still running when the police arrived. I'll never understand why he did it, he was my good friend, and I miss our chats. We never met in person but we sent each other photos and talked on the phone, so I felt close to him. He really devastated me. I remember him and I wish he hadn't done what he did. We had planned to meet in person in just 2 more weeks, if he had just held on two more goddamned weeks...maybe I could have helped him somehow. That will always haunt me too.

This time of year sucks for me, needless to say, and I've been feeling down lately about a lot of things.

I hope next week will be better. I just want the holidays to be over, the new President to get into that White House, and the world and the economy to improve once and for all.

Love, Sassy Girl