What a crappy week...

Did I mention Murphy's Law pretty much controls my life? Well it does, and if you don't agree, today I got screwed AGAIN, for the 4th time since I paid my reservation money for this camp excursion.

1. The new job I am supposed to start hasn't finished the background check YET. I am about as boring and crime-free and safe as any human can be, I don't know what the HELL is taking so long...I haven't robbed any banks, contacted any Al-Quaida members lately nor have I taken out a naughty book from the library. Well, not recently...

I really COUNTED on that job starting before I went to this thing. But nooooo, that would make my life TOO EASY and GOD KNOWS it can NEVER be that. I was put here to suffer in every way possible apparently, maybe I was a friggin' Nazi in a previous life, who knows. I've given up trying to figure out why, I just know that's how it is.

2. Dog's paw injury...ate up $$$$ that would otherwise go towards debauchery and deviant behavior while running amuck in the nude at camp. Love my dog though, it's not her fault. It's the money grubbin' VETERINARIAN'S fault for charging so much.

3. CAR brake problem...cost me an arm and a leg...there goes the rest of my savings. But at least I won't end up smashed into a brick wall somewhere when the brakes give out on me. At least, I hope not.

4. NOW....are you ready for THIS one?? Today, I was scheduled to call in my unemployment claim. But, the automated system would not allow me to do it. I did what they told me to do, waited 8 days before calling, but it still didn't work. So I spent most of my day on the @#$%! telephone, trying to get through to a HUMAN BEING to actually TALK to about this........the first call, I sat on hold for 20 minutes. The second, 35. Then the third, 45 minutes on hold. They don't even play any decent "hold music" either, to keep you docile. Oh no, they play some lame-ass tune that SKIPS into another song, halfway through, which irritates the HELL out of me. (For the record I also loathe DJs who have to hear themselves talk over a song).

Then, I called the local office, to bitch somebody out. I mean, 3's a charm they say, and after the third time of trying to remain patient---WHILE working at a one-day temp job, mind you, with a phone that kept ringing off the HOOK the whole time I tried to get through----and THEN I finally get through to a woman who yells at me, "How can you be calling ME for UNemployment, when you're at a JOB, WORKING?" she said, all judgmental and haughty, Miss Atitude-Bitch-Hag-N-A-Half....and I said, my teeth clenched in rage, "I am working at a ONE DAY TEMP JOB because the UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE WON'T ANSWER MY REPEATED PHONE CALLS, AND IT'S EITHER THAT, OR STANDING ON A STREET CORNER TO GET MONEY, THAT'S WHY!!!" (All future Bitches should really learn never push me when I'm pissed, it just gets ugly, cuz I'll fight to the death).

She stammered and stuttered, "Well you should really call me from HOME, tomorrow then, here's my name and number." And with that, she hung up. HUNG UP ON ME. GRRRR!!! I very nearly climbed through that phone to ring her goddamned governmental mindless drone NECK. So, I sat there fuming, trying to keep my composure, answering the telephone at this receptionist desk, avoiding with all my might the tears that were right below the surface, hoping nobody noticed, wishing I could talk to Peter and have him rescue me from my impending breakdown...

And then I decided, as a cold steel determination set in: I will never talk to that bitch again, and if it means getting her FIRED, I will do my best to let her see what it's like on THIS side of the unemployed FENCE. OH yes, folks, I kicked it into BITCH ON WHEELS mode, and I called the 1-800 number AGAIN, vowing not even to answer ONE phone call at this company I sat working at today, if that's what it took to get to a human being, if I had to spend the entire fucking AFTERNOON on the damned phone on HOLD the whole time, I vowed the minute I spoke to a human being, I would be giving that person this hag's name and number, and reporting how RUDE she was to me, lodging an official complaint.

And so, after 45 more minutes of waiting on hold with the skipping tunes driving me very nearly out of my skull, FINALLY an angelic voice came on the line. I said, "I would like to kiss you, because you're the first human being I have been able to get to ALL DAY LONG." She chuckled, taken by surprise, (and not knowing there was a grain of truth to that, because I am bi-curious. Would she recoil in horror I wonder, if she knew)? Ahem....but I digress.

I proceeded with a grin on my face, to tell her the hag-bitch-from-hell's name and phone number, complaining at how RUDE she was to me, and this angelic woman's voice agreed. In fact, she called her supervisor, who assisted with my call, and was very interested to know the details about it. She was also very interested to know why I was unable to get into my re-opened account, when the person I spoke with last MONDAY told me he had gone ahead and re-opened it for me. You see, they had no record of that person actually re-opening my account, though he did take my SSN information and my address and phone number, and told me I was all set.

Being the typical mindless drones that they are, they actually asked me, "are you SURE he didn't say you'd have to call back to reopen your claim?" And I said, "I would have done that the very next morning if he had said that, why would I sit here waiting 10 damned DAYS for this automated system that didn't allow me IN if he had said that?!" To which they answered, "Yes, that does make sense..." (DUHHHH). And so, apparently both of those people are now in big trouble, the supervisor called an emergency meeting of all the HR people to discuss the upset I have been having with this place all along. I think it might have been a breach of confidentiality or something, taking my SSN info and all, but not doing what he said he was going to do...and HAGATHA, with her rudeness, might just find herself in the next unemployment line herself. Poetic @#$%@! justice. Told ya, I will fight to the death whenever I am provoked.

And so this angelic woman actually listened to me, waited patiently when I had other incoming calls to answer, putting her on hold countless times (with better music to listen to, I'm sure, keeping her docile as it should), and after nearly ONE FULL HOUR of discussion and giving information, I finally FINALLY managed (at 3:30 p.m.) to get my claim reopened...AND I'll get a letter in the mail so I can claim last week, AND I can claim this week WITHOUT the job I worked today---she said she would do me that favor---AND I can claim NEXT WEEK as well, even if I work. How's THAT for customer service?! I told the woman she was going to heaven in a golden carriage for helping me, after all the crap I went through.

Poor Peter...he had to read my tirade emails all day...play by play of the annoyance I had to deal with...I just had nobody to VENT to because I was stuck at a receptionist desk trying to figure out how to transfer calls to the right people.

Now I am waiting for the NEXT thing to come along...oh, and I believe that will be my car payment, which as of tomorrow, will be late. So not only will I be missing the deadline for getting a refund for this camp experience, because Peter INSISTS that I go, and will not allow me to cancel---I told him I could but he'd never know it, I'd just make up shit about it and he'd believe every word out of my mouth--- but he said, (in his most ominous Domly voice), "Oh girl, you know I would find out, and when I did, you'd pay a very dear price." I just laughed at him and said, "With the money you lent me? Sure, I'll pay it. I'll just write you a check, as a matter of fact, postdated of course. With lots of zeros tacked on for good measure. Sell ya a bridge in Brooklyn, too, while I'm at it."

So he insists that I go, he won't allow me to cancel, I've missed the deadline for a refund, I won't have an unemployment check to take with me, my car payment is going to be late, it's supposed to rain all @#$%!ing weekend while I'm there...I'll freeze my ass off at night, cursing him the whole time...OH!! And I almost forgot, and now Aryan isn't speaking to me right now either, the schmuck---I copied and pasted in an email to him the responses I got from the 2 people that "I told my life story" to, who will both be at camp, (he yelled at me twice in emails for telling people my life story and NOBODY CARES and I shouldn't have done that, keep my personal life to myself, etc., because NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT, they just want DISNEYLAND, they want to skim along on the SURFACE of who I am, they don't really want to KNOW me, they don't want to worry about somebody ELSE'S issues, blah blah blah), and both of those people said in their response emails to my apology that, "it's no problem, we don't mind, that's what friends are for, etc."

So it was my way of throwing it back in his face, telling him that his yelling at me about it was UNCALLED FOR, and he's NOT MY DOM so he had no RIGHT to do that, and frankly I think he owes me an apology. I won't be offering up MY ass for him to flog, whip or tie up next weekend, until I get one. So the person who INVITED me in the first @#$%!ing place probably won't want me around, and vice versa, so what's the POINT of going to this stupid thing??!!

I won't be offering up my ass OR tits to anybody AT this stupid camp EITHER unless they take some time to GET TO KNOW ME, and DIG BELOW THE SURFACE of who I am. Otherwise, I'll just take my ipod and go for long walks away from everybody, sit by the pool and read, and just stay in the cabin in my bunk the whole time doing nothing. I don't need anymore shallow, superficial assholes in my life who view me as a sexual toy or object, and that's all I'm good for. I've had enough of that crap from VANILLA boyfriends to last me a dozen lifetimes.

You will either scratch below my surface and get to know me, or I'll keep my beautiful bodacious bazoomba's all covered up and to myself, and I will keep my creamy warm shaved cootch all covered up and all to myself too. You want a piece of me? Then get a shovel and a pick-axe motherfucker, otherwise hit the highway.

The only happy moment I've had this week, is sex with Peter, (I asked him who the hell TAUGHT him how to fuck like he does because it's a miracle, amazing and mind blowing EVERY TIME WE DO IT, but he just said, "Bah, it's just in and out like everybody else...nothing special." I said, "Tell that to my Titanic cootch that has fatally sprung a leak all over my bed." God, I hate washing sheets and blankets all the time. I really do. But I digress.

And drinking the last half of the bottle of white zinfindel sangria in my fridge. That is a happy thing too. And now that I'm fuzzy in the head, I'm off to bed.

OK COSMOS, GOD, AND ANYBODY ELSE WHO'S GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME----YA WANT TO CAUSE ME SOME SHIT THIS WEEK?!! GET IN LINE, YOU BASTARDS, I'LL FUCK YOU ALL UP!! I'LL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN AND KICK YOUR GODDAMNED ASSES!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!! (Hmmm, maybe I do need a vacation. Stress is going to kill me eventually. I just can't handle it).

Good thing I'm having more nooky with Peter tomorrow. I think I'll claw his back with my fingernails. Yeahhhhhhh that'll work...my Dom-daddy-scapegoat-living-vicariously-through-me. That'll teach him.

Love, Sassy Girl