Big Al, Melva, Allen Craft, Steve Perry and John Toomey

Today I've decided to write personal messages to personal friends, and to the band members of Journey...

Peter: I love you. I burst into tears yesterday when you said that you will always "own" a part of my heart, and will never let me go, even if I do move on to start a new relationship with Pete. I really needed to hear that. Thank you. You've nourished my soul at a time when I was running on fumes and at the end of my rope. You put up with my angst, my negativity, my push/pull way of love/hate and you haven't let me get out of control even once...no matter how much I tried to be. You keep me grounded, and I've learned trust and love from you, despite the limitations.

Pete: I love you too but I'm skittish to say so. You have shown up unexpectedly in my life, and brought me something I didn't even believe existed---unconditional love. I mean, sure, my dog gives me that every day. But a MAN? I've never felt it before. It's a luxury that I'm afraid of liking too much, but I'm glad you are here in my life. I love being with you and laughing with you, talking and being silent... it just feels very good to me, it nourishes my soul, and I thank you for it.

Big Al: I don't know why you're all depressed and "in a funk" lately. I keep telling you to call me, or come over, but you keep dissing me. How can I hug you and tell you I will always love ya if you're not going to meet me halfway? Ya bonehead, you're always gonna be my "Big Al," no matter what. So cheer up, ya schnook, and get over here so I can hug you. A part of me will always "own" a part of you too, and vice-versa. That will never change, no matter where I go or who I am with.

Melva: I am so so sorry that your dog passed away yesterday; I can't even imagine how empty I will feel when Sassy dies. I know that a dog is more than a dog, it's a part of the family, it's like having a kid really, and the loss of your pet is hugely and horribly sad and hard. You're dealing with so many hardships right now with your own health, this sad news only makes it magnify and feel harder. I love you very much, MJ, you're like my pseudo-mom and I am always going to be here for you, any time day or night, whenever you need a friend.

And now for the Journey boys...

Mr. John Toomey: You grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to an office in the back of the theater at a Journey concert once. I had a camera and a press pass from the production company, with a letter that said they allowed me to take pictures and write a review. You blew a gasket because you had told them that NOBODY from the fan-based web site I volunteered to work on could take pictures, and the production company apparently vetoed your decree. Taking it out on ME was a retarded assanine way of handling it, of course, but I let you turn all red and bloated and the veins pop out of your silly head while you had your reactionary fit. I figured if you keeled over with a heart attack acting so stupid, you deserved it. Whether or not I would give you CPR remained to be seen. I was rather undecided about that.

After sitting in silence for an hour, and after your screaming tirade subsided, I just smiled and said slowly, "My apologies for the confusion. I would like to tell you that one of your employees, Mr. Allen Craft, harrassed me for 6 months, telling me all kinds of personal shit and nasty lies about Steve Perry---stuff that NOBODY has a right to know---he was badmouthing him all over the internet, and then he crashed my computer when I told him to fuck off---he killed it 2 weeks before I was to launch my 2 year web site project for kids, which is now gone forever...he sent me malicious code and TOLD ME he was going to do so.

I've got over 120 emails and other messages that he sent to me from the official Journey site and from other fan-based sites, in writing, to prove it. If you'd like a copy of the emails, I'll be happy to provide them to you. I've also provided a copy of them to Lora Beard, and a few others around the country, just in case anyone ever doubted my experience for any reason.

I had my computer professionally traced by some IT guys, and they said the malicious code came from the firewall of the official Journey web site. So I filed a police report to press charges and have him arrested. Should we talk about that? Because, just in case you have lost sight of this, please remember that I am here to ENJOY A CONCERT and write a REVIEW of it, and take a few amateur photos for a fan-based web site, because despite ONE BAD APPLE in your group, I still love this music."

Suddenly, as you stood there glaring at me in shock, you were instantly all nice as pie. You gave me backstage passes. You asked me nicely to put my camera in my car first, and I obliged. Then you gave me your personal business card with your home telephone number, and email address, telling me you wanted ME to write a review for the official Journey web site, and to get in touch with some chick named Cat...you said you were sorry for the problems I had with Allen Craft and that you would see to it that he was "dealt with." (I found out later he was fired). Poetic justice will always prevail, so will karma.

Now, because I want to LEAD BY EXAMPLE here, as all good managers should, I'm going to do something for you that you asked me to do all those years ago. I am going to write a review for this new Journey album: Revelation. And I am dedicating it to you, to put all the negativity behind, to refresh and renew and pay homage to the fact that the music is bigger and more spiritually healing than anything any of you guys alone could ever achieve in your lives--it's bigger than me too--it's bigger than all of us, and if you ever lose sight of that in the music business, my friend, you're sunk. I may not know much about the music business myself, but I know enough about humankind to know that we're all just a bunch of idiots butting heads in this world, and when we encounter something magical like the music of Journey, we should all get on our knees, hug each other and thank the Gods above that we are able to share a small part of it.

So I'm going to lead by example and show you that I have no hard feelings, I realize people make mistakes, I understand the conflict that occurred and I want you to know that despite the crashing of my computer, my web site for kids was re-created and launched, and I received a 2-year grant of $5,000 from the woman who hid Anne Frank and found her diary, to keep it protected, and to keep it going. It is still out there in cyberspace, hopefully helping kids learn.

Everything happens for a reason.

I never contacted Cat, I never wrote a review for you, but I did write a scathing review of YOUR BEHAVIOR and of Allen Craft's harrassment for the fan-based web site I volunteered for, and I wrote it that night after getting home from the concert. Several days later, I received massive amounts of hate e-mails from those on the official Journey web site who read it. I even had a couple of death threats because of it. All this for some stupid dinosaur rock band (that I have loved since the age of 10), who no longer had the VOICE to lead them. You might be used to the pettiness and the stupidity of it all, but I'm not and never will get used to it. Instead, I try to rise above it. I try to lead by example.

I quit the fan-based web site shortly afterwards. It wasn't worth it. I put away all my Journey junk, albums, CDs, tourbooks, t-shirts, everything I had collected since age 10, in a large blue bin with a lid, and stuck it in the basement to collect dust. I gave up on you guys, I listened to Augeri with little interest, I met him and saw him perform a few times but told him he had massive huge shoes to fill and would never be able to live up to the predecessor that put him there. He agreed. Then he roached is pipes and is now working at the GAP again probably. Poor schnook.

I never even bothered to listen to Jeff Soto, nor did I ever go see him or meet him in person. I just figured Neal and Jonathan were driving the nails into their own coffins and God how sad that was, and how stupid and what a waste--I couldn't believe they kept doing this childish "we'll show YOU Steve Perry" crap with these lame-ass singers who couldn't remember the lyrics or hit the high notes worth a damn. (SHOULDA GONE WITH KEVIN CHALFANT FELLAS).

Needless to say, I was very disillusioned and disgusted by the fact that MY BOYS WERE NOT GETTING ALONG anymore. After all, the songs were all happy and upbeat, telling people to be good to themselves when nobody else will, telling people to love with open arms, be faithful, have faith, believe....and yet, at the same time, you're all sitting around throwing daggers at each other, being stupid fucking MEN who have no clue about how to rise above it. Buncha hypocrites if you ask me.

And then one day in December 2007, Neal actually figured out how to put his guitar down long enough to play on a computer (clicking back and forth from various porn sites I'm sure) and he looked at youtube.com. He stumbled accidentally upon Arnel Pineda. For somebody who married a 19 year old chick one month before inviting ME and a group of 20-something chicks to have "pizza" in his hotel room, I thought that was mighty ambitious of him. (I told him to stuff his pepperoni, by the way, and did not take him up on his invitation). But you actually stumbled onto a miracle, Neal.

So now Arnel Pineda is living his dream---and he's making love to Steve Perry on this album, REVELATION, by bringing the magic back. The songs are fresh and brand new sounding, like they've never played those songs before--crisp, clean, fresh, energized, recharged and renewed, the energy is palpable, the magic is flowing through their voices and their fingers and their instruments unlike any other Journey album SINCE Steve Perry left.

Steve Perry might be an imperfect human who might have caused or perpetuated issues and didn't make things easy for anybody---a perfectionist is like that sometimes---but ya know what guys? He made you all who you are, and Mr. John Toomey, don't ever lose sight of that. He put Journey on the map, thanks to Herbie Herbert and the gang. Without his voice, you guys would still be roaming around somewhere in Kansas playing in a field at a 4H county fair with horses and cows all around you. Journey would still be a dinosaur band that nobody understood, nobody cared about, and nobody listened to, just like they were before Steve Perry arrived on the scene.

Perry might not be perfect, God knows, he's has his share of clusterfuckery too in life, but NONE of you guys are angels, NONE of you guys are perfect, and NONE of you can seem to get over your inflated ego's long enough to realize that you've all been a tiny part of something hugely magical and spiritual and gorgeous. None of you seem to realize that without Perry, you'd all be unemployed idiots raging about trying to find work in a studio somewhere.

And I'll ever go so far as to say that Mr. Perry doesn't seem to realize that this album is more than just a vindictive "we'll show YOU" piece of crap like "Generations" and "Arrival" were. This album, Mr. Toomey, is the album that will heal the wound. But it will need YOUR leadership and guidance to make it happen.

And unless YOU TAKE CHARGE of that, as the road manager, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, this miraculous and peace-making opportunity will be forever lost. Unless YOU lead by example, and bring all of these guys together again--even if it's for nothing more than to have a celebration of the fact that Arnel Pineda is making you all filthy rich all over again---then you're an even bigger bonehead than I ever knew before and I'll have to pummel you profusely.

So listen up, Steve Perry, and John Toomey, Neal Schon, Jonathan Cain, Ross Valory, Deen Castronovo and Arnel Pineda...whether any of you morons like it or not, you guys all owe your LIFE to this band, and you ALL made this band what it was, and what it is now. It was a GROUP EFFORT. Whatever happened between you all in the past, is dead and gone now. GROW THE FUCK UP AND GET OVER IT. You're all in your late 50's and 60's now, life is too GODDAMNED SHORT to fuck around and waste more time with vengeance and angry words and negative feelings. You all deserve better. You all deserve to treat each other better, and BE treated better than this. Revelation should be the balm to the wound, it should bring you all together, like TRIAL BY FIRE was supposed to do.

If a total stranger Philippino guy can suddenly appear out of cyberspace and walk into your lives to instantly bring the magic back, and if he can give Steve Perry the love he obviously feels in this album despite any other soap opera bullshit that happened before he came along, then the LEAST you other guys can do, is follow suit, and let HIM lead by example, since it is glaringly obvious that nobody else in your motley crew is man enough to step up to do that.

It's just so simple, yet you have all somehow lost sight of the simplicity of it all. It's not rocket science. It's called EATING CROW and HUMBLE PIE, and admitting you were WRONG, even if you still feel you were right. It's APOLOGIZING and FORGIVING and MOVING ON to something better. It's rising above it, and being real MEN. Rise to the challenge of it, guys, I know you can do it. I want you to do that. EVERY JOURNEY FAN ON THIS PLANET WANTS YOU TO DO THAT, not just ME.

Just like the new song, A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, that is what you all need to work at, to keep it going, to make the change happen between you all. But it takes effort, it takes blood, hard work, a flood of tears, and lots of elbow grease. This album is a labor of love, a tribute to all the years of magic that existed before the breakup, and it should show you all that it's going to continue onward for a very long time in a more positive way now, and THAT IS A MIRACLE that very few bands EVER get to experience. Don't fuck it up!! Don't blow it!!

So get on your damned knees, you schnooks, roll around naked with each other and give tongue-kisses to Arnel Pineda every day, because NONE OF YOU MUSICAL EGOMANIAC BASTARDS DESERVE HIM.

Now, as your favorite submissive chick with an attitude, I say kindly to John Toomey, take an anger-management class and stop eating fried food, and learn to lead by example from now on.

I say kindly to Steve Perry, get off your dead ass and make a gesture of forgiveness to these guys. Stop being stubborn and curmudgeon-like, and thank Arnel Pineda for HIS glorious voice that he has obviously been worshipping YOU for years with, and get BUSY making the rest of your years on this planet FRIENDLY again with the boys of the band, put the rest of the bullshit behind you, and move on to something better. Rise above the pettiness. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE in this world. Don't let me down, you sexy beast, because I love you and want you to be happy.

And Neal, keep the guitar in your hands from now on, stop smoking, and stop eating "pizza" with 20-somethings in your hotel room cuz your wife is gonna kick your ass and if SHE doesn't, I will. Call Steve Perry and apologize. Be brothers again. Your soul is starving for it and you know it.

Jonathan, stop being a stuck-up snob. Slamming the door in the face of Lora Beard after the breakup was just juvenile and rude. You would still be stuck in the back of a beat-up smelly old bus touring with John Waite and the Baby's if Journey hadn't come along, so don't lose sight of where you came from.

Ross, keep being the only guy in the band who makes things fun and endurable for these other headstrong stubborn morons, and keep them under control will ya?

Deen, I don't know much about you hon, but you're a sexy drummin' wild man. Don't let those other guys push you around and you'll keep doing just fine.

Arnel Pineda: Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you've done to bring the magic of Journey back. You will NEVER replace Steve Perry, EVER, but you will continue to pay him homage by singing those songs the way he did, with that amazing voice of yours, and you will continue making it sound fresh and new----ya know why?

Because these old farts are hearing and seeing themselves THROUGH BRAND NEW EYES again, and THAT is what makes the energy so amazing between you all, THAT is part of the magic that was missing--they were tired, and bored, before you came along and everybody knew it, their music was stale and lukewarm, lacking OOMPH. Now, the album sounds like they have all been re-born because of you. It's like they're all on musical VIAGRA or something, sporting raging rock hard boners as they play, and that's because YOU came along to jump start 'em again. You're an amazing person, Arnel, for the miracle you have brought to these guys.

The album has classic Journey songs on it, and they all sound like they were just written and recorded for the first time, yesterday. The new songs are amazing, too, the lyrics are sincere, the feelings and the emotions are real--as they've always been---but more raw, and revealing, than ever before. There's an edge to the new songs, that did not exist before Pineda came along. The classics sound as though they are soaring into the cosmos higher than they've ever flown before, taking all of us die-hard Journey fans with them, to new heights. The whole album is flawless, feisty, it is sincere, a true miracle---and I am very glad to write such a review, to praise the effort and the LOVE between you guys that it has taken to get to this point. Don't let the LOVE die. THAT will be the true challenge.

Now, to all you guys: I say, get busy and do the WORK that goes with the RELATIONSHIPS that created and gave birth to Journey. Don't be slackers anymore. Call each other. Apologize to each other. Celebrate Arnel's newness and energy, forgive each other and be friends again. THAT would truly be the best new beginning for this old Journey we've all been a part of for so many years.

There, now go play nice fellas. I love you all.

Love, Sassy Girl