Holy crap!

As you may know, I do not have the "comment" capability enabled on my blog, because, well, I simply don't know you John Q. Public damned people who come here to read this crap every day, and I really don't need total strangers in my face giving me a hard time about it, y'know? So sue me, and if ya don't like it, bite me in the ass.

But today, Pete said, "I tried to add a comment to your blog entry..." and when I asked what the comment was, he said:

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OK, well here is my comment:

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Harem shmarem

I love you SG and I want the whole world to know it.

Pete

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There you go girl. Talk with you later.

Pete

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Stunned, I sat there, with the word "D'OH!" choked in my throat, and my eyeballs bulging outta my head, re-reading that over and over...thinking WTF did he just SAY to me?! You gotta be KIDDIN'!! I mean WOW, that's so nice to hear (or in this case READ), but WOW, is he on CRACK or what?! The boy must be on drugs, that's all I can figure...maybe it was a typo...maybe he meant to send that to his other harem chicks...he couldn't have really SAID that, could he?!

I mean, just last night during our five hour phone call, he says that the "L" word is "overused," and "doesn't mean much nowadays," etc., and so he "tries not to say it very often..." (and yes I reminded the silly Dom about that), to which he chuckled and said, "Yeah but I feel like I've known you forever."

Now, don't get me wrong, I am likin' this guy a lot too...more than I ever expected!! But I am still trying to hold on to reality a bit, and so I try to say things to him like, "We have only just met TWO WEEKS AGO ya know..." to keep everything in its proper perspective. I think he's the bigger dreamer of us both, and maybe he needs someone like me to balance that out with grounding realism sometimes...risking, of course, the possibility that he might pout about it awhile.

And here's the even WEIRDER thing...the OTHER guy in my life, the one I've written about for months and months, Peter, suddenly calls me as I am reading this declaration of love from Pete, stunned but not mentioning it to Peter of course, and he says, "I want to go have lunch with you tomorrow..." and I nearly fell off my CHAIR, because, again I say "D'OH!" and WTF?! He's already promised he'll come over Thursday AND on Friday too---which blew my mind already---but now LUNCH TOMORROW ALSO?! Great googa mooga, what the hell is going ON in the cosmos lately?!

Too bad we couldn't turn this little menage-a-trois into a cartoon and just have them both tie me to the railroad tracks and fight over me with a whip and a flogger like two cowboys near a saloon. I've suddenly got TWO men in my life who both say they love me...how the hell did THAT happen?! I mean DAMN, I knew my blowjobs were fiercely ferocious as fuck, but JEEZUS I never expected a guy to suddenly fall in LOVE with me because of them, and now I'm wondering, "Hmmm, I wonder if that trick would work on Steve Perry..." hehehehehehehe because I'm a Perry-slut-from-hell don'tchaknow and I love to daydream about such things.

GREAT GOOGA MOOGA...that's all I can say about this strange turn of events. Pete says he LOVES ME...after only knowing me TWO WEEKS?! Is he INSANE?! He had told me when I first met him that if he starts to go "overboard" about me, I'm supposed to smack him upside the head...but what if I don't WANNA? Hmmm...would that be un-subby of me to disobey a direct order like that?! Golly, maybe he'd spank me for it!!

Now listen Pete, I know you're reading this damned blog of mine voraciously, and I know you had a jolly good time with my hot wet mouth wrapped around your cock for several hours last weekend and everything...but here I sit, wondering what I should do...I mean, if I smack you upside the head, will you pout and be upset and feel rejected, or would I be a good little sub by doing what I was TOLD to do?! I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't I guess...silly Dom-that-he-is...bet he never thought of that. *wink* Ya big lug, you're a walking bundle of contradictions right now, and I find that so warm and fuzzy in my heart, I just wanna plant a big wet sloppy kiss on ya.

But let's be real a moment, you sweet hearted sexy beast you...let us RE-CAP the two weeks in which we have known each other, just for a reality check...

(Just wait until we announce THIS at the wedding): We met on a massage table at a BDSM camp. You let your fingers do the walking all over my body, and gave me a happy fun orgasm. In return, I gave you a blowjob coupon---because, well, that's my fetish I guess, I just love to do it. Can't help it. So, then, I think nothing of it, walk away snickering and thinking, "poor schmuck will never find me because I didn't tell him which cabin I was staying in! HA!"

But then, with a complete FLUKE of luck, you suddenly appear again at the spa the next day, I think it was, at the same time as I'm getting a henna tattoo "tramp stamp" on my ass, and planning to attend the "worship the male appendage" class...so I needed a penis to bring with me to the class, and hey whatdayaknow, there you were...what a CO-INKY-DINK!! I told ya Duke would be there, though, and sure enough the big bonehead walks in and interrupts the class, devastated to see me holding your willy instead of his...I felt like shit, but what could I do?

And so I sat on the floor naked with your willy in my hands, practicing the new handjob techniques being taught, and listening to your body react with moans and electrified jolts of movement......and when I finish playing with your bodily playground, you suddenly plant a huge KISS on me, that warmed me to my TOES...in fact, it got me all damp...but I didn't want you to know that, because, well, I may be a slutty hag sometimes, but I still try to be somewhat of a classy lady at the same time. I still snickered, "Not gonna tell him which cabin I'm in, let's see if he finds me..." and then we parted ways.

Next night, we have dinner at the mess hall together, and enjoying the conversation and Duke's sitting next to me drooling and staring at me the whole time making me feel like I'm some kind of dessert being offered...giving me the creeps...and then I think to myself, "Ya know, I could sneak the letter Q to this dude, on a slip of paper, when Duke's not lookin'..." but I didn't have a pen. And so I just figured, "if he wants that coupon redeemed, he'll find me."

Monday comes, nothing happens. I don't see Pete anywhere, where or where could he be? I guess maybe he didn't want the coupon redeemed after all, dumbass man, he doesn't know what the hell he's missing! Oh well, his loss, I'm packing up my crap and getting the hell outta here first thing in the morning. I stayed in my cabin, sending mental telepathy messages to Pete, "Q Q Q Q COME TO CABIN Q Q Q Q Q Q!!" But alas, my psychic abilities failed me. No sign of him. Probably got some other hot chicks mouth wrapped around him at the dungeon instead, ok well, so be it.

And the more I thought about it, the more I was annoyed. How dare he not redeem that coupon?! I mean WHAT THE HELL, am I chopped liver or something? CHRIST what does a subbie gotta DO around here to get a decent guy's attention? I liked the orgasm he gave me, didn't he KNOW that? He massaged my toes and my feet to the point where I very nearly came from just THAT...didn't he know THAT either? What a POOPYHEAD, not to figure that out...and how come HIS psychic abilities aren't turned on right now? Is he too distracted by all the naked chickies walking around the dungeon, scrambling around him with their pierced nipples and labia, taking turns sucking him off or WHAT? Well, HMPH, I'm not going to the damned dungeon to find out.

A few hours later: Ok maybe I SHOULD just go to the damned dungeon...just to take a peek around...if I see him, cool...if I don't, that's ok too...but no, no, I can't do it...Duke will probably be there, too, and that would be the end of any possible flirtation I might feel for that guy...DAMMIT TO HELL!! Or as I like to say when I drive in clusterfuck rush hour traffic, "Son of a mother fucking hairy assed BITCH." Screw it, I will just pack my shit and get the hell outta here. He's not interested anyway or he would have found me by now, I mean how hard is it to go from door to door yelling, "Heyyy, blowjob coupon girl!!" What a putz, he just didn't like me.

So then the next morning, I get up, shower, get dressed and head out the door to go home to my Petey-Pete-with-the-trouser-meat that I CAN and WILL wrap my mouth around, dammit-all, and to HELL with Duke's lost puppy dogness, and to HELL with men who don't appreciate blowjob coupons!!

And then, I turn a corner, with Duke at my side of course, and there you were.

And Duke takes a piss, dropping trou turning his back on us, and you suddenly grab me and plant another wild kiss on me, curling my toes to the point of "WOW, WHERE HAVE YOU FRIGGIN' BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!" but then, telling him, "sorry about not redeeming the coupon," to which he answers, "The spa is unlocked..." and I laugh. I figured, "Yeah wouldn't DUKE love to watch..." and so I had to decline the offer.

But I resolved as I drove away, that as soon as I got home, and before I wrapped my mouth around Peter's happy hooka horny willy, I was gonna find that man on the camp web site and send him an email. Oh yes I was. And maybe, who knows, maybe we could get together sometime...

.............then a few short days later, I'm finding my way to Pittsburgh, nervous as hell, wondering if we'd get along for more than a few hours...wondering if this Pete guy's gonna wanna rape me the minute I walk in the door, and oh my GOD I hope he does, but nooooo I shouldn't think like that, I barely KNOW this dude, chill out ya horny subby be-otch, I said to myself, just have a nice touristy time and talk about Peter the whole time, to dampen the mood if he gets outta hand...

But when his lips started smothering me with kisses, I lost all reason and logic.

And now, a few days later, he says he loves me.

I guess stranger things have happened in the world, really, but isn't this all just careening rather fast down the roller coaster of lust, and don't you think we should maybe put the brakes on, but then again what the hell do I know, you're the Dom, YOU decide, I don't want to decide anything, I just want more hitachi wand please... don't ask ME anything about love, I have never had it before, I've never been IN it before, I have no CLUE what the hell is right or wrong, when it comes to the "L" word, and God knows that's all I've ever WANTED in my pathetic life........just don't SAY that goddamned word, unless you friggin' MEAN it, and hey you know you actually put that in WRITING so it MUST be legally binding, right?!

Damn. I think you're caught up in lust. I think you don't know me very well. I think it's great that we're GETTING to know each other. I think it's nice to hear that stupid "L" word, and I think it's nice to think about traveling together and it's nice to think about possibly relocating to the 'burgh at some point, and it's nice to sit around joking and laughing and just enjoying each other's company, chillin'...

I just DON'T think this "love" you speak of is something I want to go away, y'know, and if it's too soon and sparks into a flame that burns out in a few months, I'd be better off NOT going there. I've had my hopes up WAYYYYY too many times in my life, so I'm AFRAID TO GET THEM UP AGAIN just because the "L" word is tossed at me....I want to believe it, of course, I soooooo fucking want to believe it. But please don't condemn me for not trusting it just yet.

Just be my friend. Give me warm fuzzy hugs and hot sloppy wet kisses. Curl my toes, laugh at my jokes, and beat my ass from time to time as I suck you off. THAT stuff, I can do, no problem. The EMOTIONAL crap that the "L" word is attached to, I don't KNOW if I can, I don't KNOW what it's like, and I'm freakin' the hell OUT about it.

In a good way. But don't get me all caught up in this fantasy world, only to come crashing down in a few short months when the newness of my hot wet mouth around your cock wears off. That's all I'm sayin'. I can give you lust, I can give you romps in the hay, I can give you my bod, I can go without makeup for you if you want, like you asked me to last weekend (though I felt horribly ugly), and I will even cook for you if you want me to...I'll shower with ya, I'll go places with ya, I'll give ya happy handjobs galore........but LOVE....?! Wow. If I knew how to do that, with all my years of dysfunctional anti-social down-on-my-luck crappy lovelife history, I would consider giving it a try...but I just don't know how. Maybe with time, I can learn, and you can teach me. I would like that very much.

So say it only if you MEAN it, and mean every word of it when you say it, or else please forget that idea, just shut the hell up and keep kissin' me all over.

That's all I ask.

Love, Sassy Girl