JOURNEY STILL ROCKS!!!! YAYYY!!!!

Oh my GAWD fellas, I finally FINALLY found the brand new Journey CD this past weekend in Pittsburgh---after 3 failed attempts at 3 different stores---and when I walked past it at Sam's Club, looking for Pete in one of the frozen food aisles, I SCREAMED...I nearly crapped my pants. THERE IT WAS!!! And only TEN BUCKS?! For TWO CD'S AND A DVD?! You've gotta be KIDDIN' ME!!! YAYYYYY!!!!

This song just kills me...here are the lyrics. Very poignant and very much similiar to what Pete and I are currently going through in terms of emotional and transitional growth...(both separately and together)...

"What I Needed"
Artist(Band): Journey

Missing something in my life
Searching for it day and night
Couldn't seem to get it right
'Til you walked my way
Leaving lovers one by one
Didn't like who I'd become
Couldn't face myself, I turn and run
Made me see that I could change

Out of my darkness
As I step into the light
We get a new day
Taking one step at a time

You were what I needed
I was falling
Hiding my emotion
You made me see the truth
Your love was what I needed
Hear me calling
Waiting for a lifetime
Girl, you were my rescue
All I needed was you

I used to always get my way
Told me that you wouldn't stay
Had to face it, what you had to say
If I wanted you
You tell me when I did you wrong
I guess I've known it all along
Cared enough and you stood strong
I believed in you

In my frustrations
Tried to become someone else
The years I've wasted
I'd been lying to myself

You were what I needed
I was falling
Hiding my emotion
You made me see the truth
Your love was what I needed
Hear me calling
Waiting for a lifetime
Hear me calling
What I needed
What I needed was you

In you I found shelter
How you believed in me, stood strong
You were there through my darkest hour
You lifted my spirit up
Brought out the best in me
And now I'll stand before you with all my love

You were what I needed
I was falling
Hiding my emotion
But you made me see the truth
Your love was what I needed
Hear me calling
Waiting for a lifetime
Girl you were my rescue
What I needed was you

The first time I put the CD into my car on the way back from Pittsburgh this morning to listen to it, (yezzz, I got 4 hours of sleep, and drove 4.5 hours home at 3:30 this morning folks)...but when I heard this music, I cried like a baby. Through the whole damned thing. Both CDs. The classic songs on CD#2 really killed me. Just killed me. It's like my soul has been STARVING for some Journey music for YEARS AND YEARS, ever since Steve Perry left. "Arrival" did nothing for me, it was lukewarm. I didn't even BUY "Generations." But suddenly there it was, REVELATION---and my friends, let me just say that: THE MAGIC IS BACK!!! This music has grabbed me by the guts all over again, and didn't let me go the whole time. God Bless Arnel Pineda, the new lead singer, for bringing back the magic. It's almost as if somebody cloned Steve Perry's 30 year old voice, and put it into that guy's Phillipine gob somehow. Unbelievable. Friggin' AWESOME.

Now, let me take a moment for a personal message to Mister Steve Perry. If you're reading this blog, Sir, then---holy crap, I just got moist at the thought of that---BLUSH...ahem----I mean, psssst, come here, I gotta tell you something...

As a submissive girl, I must ask you kindly to go give Mr. Arnel Pineda a big wet sloppy kiss---AND slip him some tongue while you're at it---because he is going to PAD YOUR POST-JOURNEY RETIREMENT WALLET FOR THE NEXT 50+ YEARS OF YOUR LIFE. Everybody knows you're a very intelligent and shrewd businessman with your sexy God- given-voice and your lovin'-touchin'-squeezin' fingers still grabbing hold of the Journey pie, getting royalties for everything they do even though you're gone. And frankly, whether anybody else out there agrees with you for doing that or not, I definitely applaud you and celebrate you for it.

But---now I am gently trying to say that it is time for you to eat some crow, Sir, and go THANK this kid, and MAKE PEACE WITH THE OTHER GUYS IN THE BAND for keeping what YOU started with Journey GOING, in a MUCH better direction with a MUCH better singer---this puny kid from the Phillippines has somehow single-handedly restored the MAGIC that you created, and nobody NOBODY else has been able to do that since you left.

Furthermore, it is glaringly obvious to me as I listen to this CD that Arnel is making love to you, dear Sir, on this CD---you know, he's paying homage, flattering you most sincerely with every word he sings---he TOTALLY GETS IT, he NAILS IT....he hits all the high notes, he remembers every word of every song---(unlike Augeri), and he most definitely and absolutely FEELS IT, he BELIEVES in it, his entire SOUL is bared raw to the world on this thing---it is amazingly obvious that he has LOVED YOU and WORSHIPPED YOU his whole entire LIFE. So please, get down on your knees, Mr. Perry, and thank the Lord above, that they FINALLY got somebody who is WORTHY of filling your shoes...he'll never be YOU, he'll never even come CLOSE to "REPLACING" you, but he will continue to pay homage to you and he will continue to keep the magic going, like you would have too if your hip injury hadn't caused your departure----so the bumpy road between you and the other guys in the band should FINALLY be long-gone behind you all.

Bottom line Mr. Perry: Please let this new CD be the balm to the wound. FORGIVE AND FORGET. Celebrate the magic, which is so much bigger and spiritually healing than any one of you guys are or ever could be separately. Something magical and huge is happening now, and the world of music is a much better place because of what you started---so now it is time for you to let them continue, but you should still be a part of it, at least in the form of forgiveness and renewed friendship, if nothing else.

In other words, I want you, and Neal, Jonathan, and Ross to finally just GET OVER IT and play nice with each other from now on. I ask this most humbly, and with love.

My tirade is done. Thank you for listening. I love you with all my heart and soul.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled rant....

Ohhhhh, but now Peter has mentioned the "what if Steve Perry has a prince albert" conversation in this morning's chat, and holy BEJEEZUS I've just made a puddle in my desk chair. DAMMIT TO HELL...fap fap fap...pardon me while I sport a raging rock hard boner....good LORD I'd never thought of that before...it was usually a fantasy of him wearing buttless leather chaps... but now...well, now there's a whole new dimension added to it!! GOD BLESS YOU Peter, for fueling my fires of fantasy, and GOD BLESS YOU, STEVE PERRY. Prince Albert or no Prince Albert, you're a sexy mo-fo and I would bear your children--or die trying---(if you asked me nicely of course).

Ahem.

To all you other blog-reading addicts out there, I say to you: GO BUY THIS CD NOW!!!

Ok.....breathe.....onto other subjects....

Pete spoiled me rotten this weekend. I arrived late Friday night with my dog; I walked into his bedroom after unloading my car, and found a large banner across the bed that said, "THIS BED HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY FUMIGATED FOR YOUR COMFORT." Then I noticed another sign on the corner, with a---what the hell was that?!----a piece of CAKE?!! The sign said, "Now you have me, and you can eat me too." LOLOLOL.....and then I spied the other sign on the headboard, "Welcome Home." I laughed and nearly cried...all at the same time. Oh yes, he's full of surprises, this one. I loved it!

So then of course he ravaged me, and we went to sleep sometime in the wee morning hours, I don't even remember what time it was. My dog, however, doesn't seem to know what Saturday means. She gets up at 6:30 a.m. no matter what, every damned day, and jumps on the bed to sit on me...not next to me...ON me...she crushes my uterus every morning, (hence my barren childlessness), and tells me it's time to take her for a walk whether I'm awake or not. And so, I'm stumbling around half-asleep in the dark, hair wild and messed, in whatever clothes I could tangibly reach from my suitcase---my white-stained pj's a crusty puddle on the floor---NASTY STUFF I TELL YA, that spooge of mine---and thus the day began.

We walked down to a local ma-&-pa restaurant to have breakfast together, Pete and me, and then we took off to do some shopping. Pete needed some new shoes and shorts. We spent the day getting him all set up with some happy new stuff, and then we had a cookout with his friend "Vixen" joining us for dinner...and after that, it was time to go see him perform in the play SEUSSICAL THE MUSICAL. He played the Mayor of Who-ville. hehehehehe That is a DAMN cute play by the way, I highly recommend it. Not just for kids. Very funny. "Vixen" and I enjoyed it very much, but mostly we like talking about our current married Dom-situations, and the frustrations they present.

I suggested to her, and to Pete, that we go to the dungeon afterwards, so the two of them could play. They loved the idea, and I figured since I'm pretty much all sore, bruised--and horrifyingly hickied---all over the damned place, ravaged every night at his place, the least I could do is step aside and let the two of them have some fun for awhile too. The bonus was when Pete wrapped me in rope on a massage table, next to where they were playing, and I could just lay there watching, all happily bound and zonked out.

Pete's friend "Vixen" is a much harder player than I will ever be, she likes that extreme stuff, and even calls herself a "pain slut." That's why I figure, if the Dom I am involved with needs to inflict more pain and do more extreme stuff than I am able to handle, then sure, I'll share. He can go beat some other chick senseless if he needs to, that's fine with me. Just come home to me, and be gentler with me, and we'll get along just fine. I am cool with that, no problem. Besides, the two of them have a long history of being play partners, long before I entered the picture, so who am I to interfere with that? In the BDSM world, subbie's gotta share their Dom's sometimes. There's just not enough of them to go around.

She owns this awesome scarey crop, it has the shape of a hand on one end, with sharp, pointy, chrome/steel needle-like points all over it on one side...and when it is implemented properly, with a heavy thud on the buttcheeks, it causes tiny pin-prick-with-bloody-holes all over. Her ass looked like a friggin' salt and pepper shaker top. But ok, hey, whatever floats your boat babyyyy...go for it!! Just don't come near ME with that damned thing!! I'd pass out if I saw my own blood on the floor anyway, so it wouldn't be as fun. (I can't stand the sight of blood, they won't even let me GIVE blood anymore at the Red Cross for that very reason, I pass out every damned time like a woose). Oh well.

Anyway, she also has this 6-layered, thick black leather paddle...and Pete nearly sprained his own wrist hitting her with that heavy thing, but she soaked it in like a pro and loved every thud and painful smack of it. Me, personally, I would run and hide if somebody tried that on me. No way Jose. Not-a-gonna-happen! Uh-uh. Nope. Uhhh buh-bye. He also used the Whartonburg wheel and his fingernails too, causing her to shiver and shake, and moan...her ass a bright-fire-engine-red...with tiny reddish holes sprinkled about. The inflicted pain/pleasure that she had with her married Dom the few days beforehand, were now once again refreshed, and she was a very happy camper indeed. Pete, his brow all sweaty and his focus and energy all spent from his connection with "Vixen" then came over to me and noticed I had started to shiver uncontrollably, laying there for an hour in the rope. It started to get really cold, lying there naked like that for so long...so he untied me, and wrapped his warm arms around me to keep me warm, while "Vixen" also came over and gave me a big bear hug at the same time...so there we were, me all naked and rope marked, sitting up on the massage table, the 3 of us "sick and demented, twisted BDSM fucks," hugging each other for warmth and giggly BDSM love.

Ya just gotta love it.

So then they decide that it's time for food. We go to this place called the "Eatin' Park," which is another fancy term for FEEDBAG TROUGH, like a Denny's really, serving every kind of food you can imagine, and it's open 24 hours a day. We pig out like dogs, and then go home. I told them about the funniest time I ever had with a guy in bed, and they laughed themselves sick. They both told me I should write about that on my blog, so stay tuned for that. It's a friggin' riot.

We finally get home, and I discover that my dog decided to attack the front door with her claws, spewing tiny shards of wood everywhere, trying desperately to get out during a nasty thunder and lightening rain storm where she was all alone in a strange place without her mommy around to protect her. I felt like crap, she's NEVER done that sort of thing before, EVER. Then I felt even WORSE because I scolded her for it, and really it was all MY fault for not being there when she needed me. I nearly cried, I was so upset, and embarrassed. Pete didn't seem upset about it, but still, that's a RENTAL UNIT ya know, and now he will have to fix the damage that MY stupid dog caused on his apartment. She's usually such a good dog...but she was scared and I wasn't around to comfort her. I am such a bad mommy sometimes.

Anyway, Sunday we met "Vixen" for brunch, and then Pete took me to Heinz Hall for a most AWESOME concert---I mean it was friggin' AWESOME people---it was the Pittsburgh Pops Orchestra, led by the legendary conductor, MARVIN HAMMLISCH---I kid you NOT--- and the guest performer was none other than jazz trumpeter, Chris Botti and his band. VERY VERY COOL. There was another band who also performed, with 4 different kinds of cellos' but I can't remember the name of the group right now. (Cut me some slack jack, I've had FOUR HOURS OF SLEEP and had to DRIVE 4.5 hours back at 3:30 a.m. this morning, straight to my office to work all day). The program is in my car.

I very nearly had a screaming orgasm walking into this place, it's so fancy and gorgeous---it's been around since the early 1900's I guess---all the hoity toity elite society-types apparently hang out there a lot. I felt like I was WAY out of their league, a totally different world apart from all those people. I've never SEEN such a fancy place in all my LIFE. I was afraid to touch anything. The crowd of snobbery people everywhere gave me the creeps too, so I leaned against the wall trying to disappear into it somehow, as everyone crowded around the lobby. I was waiting for Pete to park the car. Crowds make me nervous now, after working so long in a museum full of 2.5 million visitors every year, everybody breathing on me all day, every day...I no longer enjoy crowds of people breathing on me...so I try to fade into the woodwork whenever possible.

So Pete arrives, and we go into the main performance hall area. He takes me to the side entrance, which I thought was odd, the seats are all on the floor by the stage, right? WRONG. He took me to a BOXED SEAT, right above the stage---the best seats I have EVER sat in, in my whole entire LIFE. I mean, they were RED VELVET CHAIRS folks, not just the usual rock-hard black, unforgiving and uncomfortable theater seating on the floor in front of the stage...and we were in the FRONT of the box, right near the edge, looking out over the whole stage. AWESOME SEATS!! LOVED IT!! I could see every instrument, every person playing every instrument, the tiniest of details, right there almost touch-able over the edge...amazing. Impressed the hell outta me, and that's not an easy thing to do, I tell ya. I felt like friggin' Cinderella at the ball.

Chris Botti is DA BOMB. I've heard his music on various jazz music stations on the radio, but I've never really listened to his CDs or anything. Now, I must say, I will have to do just that. His band is AWESOME. A two-grammy winning pianist, award winning drummer, bassist from Detroit, and a guitar player that grooved like you wouldn't BELIEVE---those guys were like ONE, melded into each other, with their instruments. The drummer especially---he was like PART of the drum set, completely glued to it, and he gave such an awesome performance---I swear that has GOT to be an aerobic workout every time he sits down to play! AMAZING MUSIC. This 12 year old little girl in the front row, center, was targeted by both Marvin Hamlisch and Chris Botti, because she told them she also plays the trumpet!! Chris played to her the entire time, winking at her, waving at her, making comments to her, etc....that kid's whole entire LIFE was transformed, it was amazing to see. What a lucky kid.

Anyway, so they played "Someone to Watch over me," and I nearly melted. That song kills me, every time. I love it. Just totally love it. I can relate to it HUGELY so it really speaks to me in a big way. I very nearly melted in that red velvet chair. The whole entire concert was amazing, songs I'd heard before but never like THAT, performed in such a way, with so much awesome energy...I whispered to Pete that "If they could somehow figure out a way to transform all of that energy and MUSICAL WORLD PEACE that takes place on a stage full of musicians, into the outside world, we'd all live in a better place." I wish there was such a way to do that, I really do. Because those people were amazing, they played off each other, exchanged so much power and so much energy, I could FEEL IT...if we could bottle that and sell it, every one of us humans would be all that much richer.

After the concert ended, we walked downtown a bit, towards the parking ramp to the car. But then we saw something going on a block down, it was apparently a Gay Pride event, just wrapping up for the day. So we walked down to take a look around. It was very cool, a band was playing on a stage, there were "sumo wrestlers" in funny padded costumes knocking each other over on a mat, laughing hysterically when they couldn't get up again...and booths and vendors, people of same gender walking around holding hands---it was very very cool. I felt almost guilty to have a guy holding MY hand...I said, "If some chick comes near me to give me a girl kiss, I hope you won't mind if I oblige." LOL But alas, that did not occur. We got a couple of t-shirts and then had a drink at a fast food restaurant before going back to the car.

I had been dreading the whole day, and tried not to think about, the drive back to VA. So as we made our way back to Pete's place, I was feeling rather sad. The clouds started to gather and get dark, and I thought, "Great, I get to drive home in a rain storm, how fun THAT will be in the dark on a Sunday in rush hour." But then I had a thought..."what if I stayed overnight and just got up early to drive back Monday morning, to go to work?" So, that's what I did. We got several more hours together, the rain could do its thing, and my trip was postponed happily. Little did I know that I would spend those 4.5 hours crying like a baby listening to Journey's new CD, but hey, it was like this cathartic soul-cleansing moment. It was like FOOD to my soul really, and I gobbled it up. I will continue gobbling for quite a long time too.

Now as the lunch hour draws near, I am in need of a nap-and-a-half-and-three-quarters, but I only have 25 cents. So I guess it's another trip to the coffee sludge machine, I've had 3 Starbucks so far, with "energy boost," but I think that's pretty much worn off already...dammit to hell...I keep saying "I can do this, I can handle this, I can just sleep when I'm DEAD dammit..." but then my new 40 year old body says, "WTF?! You think you're 20 again or what? SLEEP DAMN YOU! SLEEP! Or I'm gonna collapse and cause you all kinds of havoc." Stupid damned 40 year old body.

And so I'm off to sit in my car for my lunch hour, to doze a bit.

Tired, well-used like a limp ragdoll sex toy, but happy beyond oblivion. That's me.

Pete even said the M word folks. Marriage. Most men bolt out the door whenever the L word is used, but not this one. He even asked me if a 2,500 square foot, 4 bedroom, 3bathroom house with huge fenced-in backyard, huge kitchen, basement and dungeon space would be enough for me. The man has some plans, apparently, that I don't quite know about or want to even THINK about yet...but God bless him for it.

Love, Sassy Girl