What a day...

I have had a bad day. Here are the reasons why...

1. It is Anne Frank's birthday. Sad enough, bummer day for me every year. I love Anne Frank. She's been my hero forever, since I was 10 years old and read her diary for the first time. I could identify with her. I felt like I knew her. That diary of hers started me on a lifetime of trying to learn as much as possible about WWII and the Holocaust...not to mention my friendship since 1994 with the woman who FOUND Anne's diary, Mr. Frank's secretary, Miep Gies. I love her like she's family, like she's my very own grandmother. She's 104 years old I believe, and still writes to me. She's an amazing woman, an angel on earth, and I cherish her every day. So yeah, this day is a sad one, because if Anne had lived, she would have been 78 years old. A lifetime, with possible writing career, husband, children, grandchildren---all taken from her at the tender age of 16. It breaks my heart every year. Last year, I remember that Turner Classic Movies had the original film playing that night, so I sat up and watched it, crying my eyes out. I can't watch that damned movie without crying like a baby every time. It rips my guts out. I guess I'm just too empathic.

2. Pete's stupid move with his vanilla chicky. Maybe I shouldn't have such high expectations of men. After all, the world is all fugged up because of them. Why wouldn't they fug up the most mundane of relationships with women too? Silly me. I will just have to approach this whole thing with caution from now on, and hold back a bit, until I feel that I can be comfortable in progressing further. Why go 4.5 hours out of my way to find some guy to be with, when I've got a ton of them around here? I have even received an email from a WOMAN who is interested in being bisexual with me. She's cute too so I'm considering it. Maybe I should just turn lesbian and get it overwith. I've had more than enough BS and hassle in my life. I can't take anymore, and I just can't do it anymore. I know my own limits. I've been through the friggin' WRINGER since 9/11, and on the verge of stepping off because of it...I just cannot handle anymore crap, grief, bullshit or stupidity in my life.

3. The WORST part of my day: My friend Melva sent me a horribly upsetting and very sad email, she's got a brain aneurysm and needs surgery to remove it. She could die with, or without, surgery. She's only 65. She's like my "pseudo-mom," I call her that all the time. I've loved her for a very long time and we are very close. She is an amazing woman and a very good influence on me. I don't know what I would do without her. She means the world to me. I don't want her to die. I'm scared for her. I promised I would pray for her, but I don't really think it will do much good.

I've been upset all day because of these reasons...

4. And then I get home from work and find that my dog took a crap on the carpet.
Again. My own stupid dog, can you believe THAT?! I rubbed her nose in it, AGAIN, but she doesn't seem phased by it. She GETS a pet sitter every day at lunch time, what the hell ELSE does she NEED?? Maybe I should have Peter build me a doggie door to the backyard. I don't know what else to do. Stupid damned loveable spoiled dog.

Needless to say, I'm going to bed, with some sangria in my belly and tears in my eyes. I've had it. I feel drained. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday so I can just crash and stay in bed all weekend.

---Sassy Girl