BLEAH.

Ok, so I know it may seem that I'm pathetic, sitting here whining about Peter so much lately; I know I've started a new life with Pete here in Pittsburgh and I should just be able to focus on that and let go of life in DC and Peter too. I know this. Logically, it makes perfect sense. And logically, I would agree with you.

But when Peter says he's breaking a promise to me, and that he will write me an email to explain everything to me about why he's breaking this promise, (and he's NEVER broken a promise to me before, the whole time I've known him, which is why this is so upsetting to me), and when that email hasn't YET been written or sent to me in over a WEEK, well, all I can do is sit here and stew about it. He keeps saying he's going to write it, but he hasn't bothered.

I'm not a crazed psycho loony who is going to show up at his house like some "Fatal Attraction" hag to boil a rabbit on his stove. I'm not a stalker. I'm not going to send his wife a Xmas card either. I just come here to VENT about things, to get it out of my head, rather than allow it to just fly around inside it so much that it makes me miserable.

The thing that is bothering me most is, Peter has never acted like this before, in the 2.5 years I've known him, he's ALWAYS owned up to his decisions, taken responsibility and explained his reasons for them, without all this hesitation. I've asked him specific questions of how he's feeling, why he's deciding to break his promise, and yet he doesn't answer. This is why I'm so agitated by it, it's the LACK OF pro-activity that he usually has, that's got me the most concerned. If he wants to dump me, then just fucking DUMP ME and get it overwith. Don't keep me hanging. Finalize it, put an END to it, but don't sit there promising me emails that aren't ever going to be sent. That bugs me worse than anything else.

Ah well. I start working on Monday. So I won't have much time to sit around whining, much to the relief of those blog-addicts to read this slothering slop every day. But in my head, and in my heart, I will continue to hurt. It's a shitty way of dealing with me, and I would never do that kind of thing to another human being, which is why I am having a hard time understanding why Peter would deliberately hurt me like this, after all we've been to each other, and been through together. I don't understand. I just want to understand.

---Sassy Girl