Fucking SHIT

Had my very first mammogram the other day. First thing yesterday morning, the doctor calls, and tells me I have a lump in my right breast, and they need to take another mammogram and possibly an ultrasound to find out if it's cancerous or not.

Needless to say, I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday.

Then my best friend called to say her dad (who is like a 2nd dad to me), had a heart attack and was in the hospital, they had to put 3 stints in his artery because it was completely blocked. He could have died right then and there, but he's feeling better now and they are going to send him home tomorrow.

Then at the end of the day, we went to see the movie "Land of the Lost," but it was a huge disappointment, nothing at ALL like the old t.v. show I knew and loved as a kid....and then, on our way home, my car decided to take a massive SHIT, and now it's in the shop. The radiator burst and caused the transmission line to burst, so it's going to cost over $700 to fix. GRRRR

I had a rather bad day yesterday to say the least.

Pete bought me a brand new recliner chair to sleep in at night, since I've had severe back pain for 3 weeks every morning when I wake up. The chair, believe it or not, works wonders. I wake up feeling FINE, no back pain at ALL, and so I'd much rather just cancel my stupid orthopedic specialist appointment and use the chair from now on.

But after being told I have scoliosis in my back, and I might have to wear a back brace and/or go through physical therapy and possibly surgery....THEN being told I have a lump in my boob.....well, you can imagine the huge meltdown I've had about all this. Plus my diabetes is out of whack, it's too high, and I'm just feeling like a total wreck about all of this stuff.

I took a valium, my very first one, last night, and thank GOD I did.....it works. I'm liking that stuff.

So I have HAD ENOUGH BAD LUCK lately and I'm fed up with the whole world right now. I have to go next week for another mammogram so between now and then I'm all upset and worried that it might be cancer or something and THEN what the hell am I gonna do? Peter went through this with his wife once, so I wish with all my heart that I could talk to him about all this, he would know what to do, and how to help me.....but he won't talk to me anymore....

Anyway, I am going to pinch my doctor's head off and step on it if she tells me anymore bad goddamned news.

Bye for now.

Love, Sassy Girl