Haunting.

PETER: obtaining what you need is the next step. knowing that you can be understood means that it is not as difficult as you thought (or feared) to find what you need
ME: ....but you can't give me what i need....
ME: ...and you seem to be the only one who knows...
PETER: no i can't. if I was a player I could play you completely and use you. I could make you feel incredible things Becky. and you would ultimately be more hurt by me than by nearly anyone else simply because I can strip your psyche down to your naked soul. but I refuse to hurt you and will not hurt you that way. ever.
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I've been re-reading some of the emails that Peter and I exchanged...I still have every one of them, as well as every online chat we've ever had. I cannot bring myself to delete them.

This last paragraph of the first email I wrote back to him (in response to his "knowing" exactly what I need), is what haunts me the most out of everything we've ever discussed or written to each other.

"I can strip your psyche down to your naked soul. but I refuse to hurt you and will not hurt you that way. ever."

But, you DID, Peter. And 5 years later, it still hurts.

---Sassy Girl.