Well Pete says he did not give me an ultimatum, but that "fair is fair." Here is my response to that statement of his...which I disagree with...
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Hi Pete,

Well it did sound like an ultimatum to me, and those only make me rebellious and angry. I can be a very stubborn pain in the ass sometimes, and when it comes to Peter, that's something I'm not willing to bend on. However, I do see your point, and yes, at some point as things progress with you, he does know already that I will have to just be platonic friends with him and nothing more. We have talked about this already and he knows that it may very well turn out to be that way at some point later on, and is willing to step back and let me go. I already know that will be very very hard for me to do, though. He's a very important part of my life and has helped me very much. I don't want to just turn my back on him and walk away. It would not be an easy "cold turkey" thing to do.

The whole "apples and oranges" thing applies here, though. You are making the mistake of lumping me in with all of your other vanilla women, into one category, thinking I am the same as they are. Thinking that the relationship with Peter is the same sort of relationship that you have with your vanilla women friends is inaccurate. It is entirely different.

When I refer to Peter, it's to call him my DOM, not just my occasional "fuck buddy," like you call your vanilla chickies. There is a huge difference between those two things. With Peter, it's not just SEX that keep us going, in fact we often don't even GO there, we often simply sit, talk, be naked, and do other things (on the computer sometimes, or doing projects like my closet, etc.), but he's got his fist in my hair, gripping it tightly, or squeezing my neck, or somehow being Domly during the time we are together. It is the Dom/sub connection which is very powerful and addictive, that I share with him. That is much more than simply being "a married guy I have sex with."

My point is, asking me to sever that tie, the D/s tie, that I share with Peter, is something much more difficult than simply telling vanilla women you're no longer their fuck buddy. So it is like comparing apples to oranges, and therefore I disagree with your statement that "it is only fair." It is really NOT very fair, as my situation will require much more time and delicacy and a slow transition, than cold turkey. I hope you understand this. I can slowly end the intercourse part, sure, but getting him out of my HEAD is going to take some time. That is the part about BDSM that I don't think you quite understand fully yet. Sure you can get somebody out of your life by simply no longer seeing or being with them, but you can't always get somebody out of your HEART, or your HEAD that easily.

So please be patient with me. Just like you are a packaged deal with your 2 ex-wives and 4 kids, I have to accept those people as part of who you are....and so with me, I am asking that you accept Peter as a packaged deal in my life, at least for now. Living out here in Fubar city all by myself is very hard, very stressful, and I need the release that he gives me. I need the spankings he administers to me, when I'm overwhelmed and frazzled and cannot function properly. I need the TLC of having him caress my hair and just letting me put my head in his lap and crying if I need to. It is the proximity of being local that helps me get through the tough times I face here by myself. He has my best interests in mind with everything he does, and I know when you finally meet him in person you will feel that he's good for me in many ways.

As for the calendar of plans you've come up with, you blow me away. You really do. I can't even plan a lunch with Peter until the day OF, and even then it often doesn't work out. The calendar looks good to me. I don't know much about that "Wet Spots" concert thing, but I do remember sending it to you in case you thought it was something of interest to attend. I am fine with you coming to visit me anytime, I would really enjoy that a lot.

One thing about Ben, he is soon to have a 2nd part-time job, so that may change the availability of when he can come to DC. He may not be able to come here on the 28th as I had hoped, but I told him to tell his new employer he will be out of town that weekend and the ticket is non-refundable, so we'll see if it works out or not. I'll let you know.

I hope I have explained things to you about Peter more in detail so that you have a better understanding of the nature of our relationship. He is more of a mentor to me, than anything else. You can both talk to each other about me anytime, I have nothing to hide.

Bye for now. love, [SASSY GIRL]
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Am I a greedy hag for wanting them both? I don't think so. For centuries, men have always been able to have BOTH a wife AND a mistress, so ya know what? MY TURN. And if that is something these two men cannot handle, they need to find some chick who is meek and quiet and mousey and doormat-like, because that's just not me.

---Sassy Girl