Fug

Ok to recap:

Pete mentions this other vanilla chick, the 4th one since I have known him, that he wants to play with. I tell him go ahead, feel free, go for it, I'm fine with it as long as we go to the dungeon and I'm there too. He doesn't hear that part. He wants to see her on the one weekend when I am not there, "so it doesn't take time away from US." He mentions all of this after talking about marriage with me. It goes over like a lead balloon, sending me into instant bitch mode.

Then he reacts to MY reaction by first comparing me to his ex-wife, (wow, the man needs to really examine that move very closely I think, because that really deserves the DARWIN AWARD)...and then, he gives me shit about Peter and how HE was able to just diss those other chicks, so why can't I just diss Peter too...(another bad move, lead balloon and instant deal breaker), and then on top of that, he sends my "abyss" blog entry to a close friend of his that I haven't even MET yet in person, and who also suffers from depression. He thinks this will help her feel better and make her like me. I completely disagree and he should have ASKED me first. Then on top of all THAT, he then says he 'wants me right now,' which makes me also hear the unspoken, "but I may not want you later."

Would anyone convict me, I wonder, if I ran him over with my car at this point?

How many of you blog-addicted women out there, vanilla or otherwise, would put up with a guy who, in only one month's time, turns your world upside down, puts you on a roller coaster, straps you down, starts the engine, promises you the moon, and then does a 360 about wanting to play with another chick right after talking about marriage? My guess is, probably not a single solitary ONE.

And THEN I get yelled at by "Vixen" on top of all THIS stuff, telling me she's going to cut off my tits if I hurt HIM?! WTF?? I'm just reacting to what HE has said and done, chicky, so back off and rethink before you threaten my bodacious bazoombas like that---I'm not the one who has 6 different MEN after ME all the time. GEEZ.

I talked to Pete a little while ago, via chat.

I am not going to make a lousy first impression on his kids this coming weekend by pouting and not showing up at all, and ruining HIS weekend. I don't have much choice but to go there, or risk the ire and disapproval of his kids, which I do not wish to do. First thought was, "screw it, I'm not going," but upon thinking things through, it just doesn't seem like it will really make anything better, ya know?

All I ask is the same common courtesy, the same respect, in thinking things through before opening the mouth and inserting the foot. I don't think I ask for much. I really don't. It's not rocket science. It should be common sense. But I do know that common sense really is NOT so common anymore in our world.

So, okay fine, I told the boys of Journey to play nice, forgive, forget and move on, grow up and get on with it---so I guess I should now choose to stop throwing a temper tantrum and instead, rise to the challenge and lead by example in order to ripple effect that potential peace making thing to happen. Right?

This does not, however, mean I'm going to jump into the sack with Pete this weekend. Right now, I have absolutely no interest in doing so. But I will try to let this whole thing smooth itself over, and I will try to prevent it from escalating further, and I will try to explain and discuss and commmunicate better. I would just hope that from now on, he takes the time to clarify things with me and if we can meet somewhere in the middle without first killing each other, we should be ok.

And my boobs will hopefully NOT be cut off by Vixen. Cuz that would hoit.

Love, Sassy Girl