Bad dreams

It's 3:30 a.m. and I woke up crying from another bad dream. i have them more often than I care to admit. I don't know why I can't just stop having them, but I can't really talk about them with anyone either, so I don't. I mean, what's the point? I know they are just dreams, they're not real, and yet I still have them sometimes.

Usually I just wake up and go use the bathroom, and think about it awhile before falling back to sleep, sometimes thinking about it more the next day. This one was just so vivid and real, and it made me burst into tears at the end, waking up crying. That haas only happened a few times.

They used to really be much worse, I would wake up rocking back and forth, with tears on my face.

So I sit here at 3:30 in the morning, reliving it, and knowing what caused me to cry like that...but I don't want to rehash it or talk about it with anyone. I keep these dreams to myself. Nobody else would understand anyway.

I guess I should go back to bed and lay down and try not to think about it. Instead I should think about going to Ocean City soon, with my friend Barbara, and look forward to getting away to relax and enjoy the sunshine.

My pet sitter in DC is selling her business and moving to California soon. She says I still owe her money. It's been 8 months since I left DC and yet she comes back to haunt me, much like these dreams of mine. My used-to-be life is something I think about a lot, and miss all the time, yet I know the life I have now is better for me in the long run. I don't know how a person can miss the quicksand on their shoes after escaping it. I really don't. But sometimes, I do.

Bye for now.

---Sassy Girl